Many of us are overwhelmed. And many things can be overwhelming, especially when you feel awful.
There is hope. Healing communities are available that can help. Your story matters, and other people are willing to listen no matter what the problems may be.
For many years, I played the victim role. I denied my own sense of reality and took care of others. Ignoring my needs made me sick. I had a denial of reality and I needed to listen to myself. I needed to do the hard work to look within. I needed help.
I always thought that I could figure things out on my own. Not prioritizing self-care was my daily norm for many years. I was overburdened with responsibilities and felt that I was giving so much that I was self righteous.
I had my head so far up my ass that when I got my head out of it I could see the shit (sorry for the visual and potty mouth).
I had to learn that there was a greater good for me, and that my higher power can do for me what I couldn’t do for myself.
I had to feel the feelings. I had bad years. I ignored my instincts and was anxious often. I denied my sense of self and wanted to be the martyr.
I had to get out of my funk.
Here’s what I needed to do to help support self-care and get off my high horse:
- I needed to admit to myself that my life was unmanageable, and I needed to ask for support.
- I needed to understand what I wanted, why I wanted it, and where I wanted to be. For this type of self-care, I had to create a 5 year plan so that I could plan to eventually get to my goals. I can’t do what I need to do in a lifetime in a day.
- I needed to be patient with myself. Self-care means accepting where I am at, even if it’s at the bottom.
- I needed to be honest with myself. It may be difficult but it is possible.
- I needed to verbalize my feelings to get better. Self-care involves speaking your truth.
- I needed to find a healing community. I found it on this list of self help groups here.
- I needed to mind my own business. Self-care means understanding that others peoples opinions of me are none of my business. Also, their progress is none of my business.
- I needed to create boundaries. Self-care means that if I don’t create boundaries for myself, people will run me over.
- I needed to be honest with family and friends. Self-care means being honest about where you are. It is okay to feel sad.
- I needed to get off my high horse. Self-care means that you are no better or no worse than no one else.
- I needed to pray for serenity. Praying gives me the opportunity to ask for what I want.
- I needed to stop lying to myself. Denying my reality makes me sick.
- I needed to give my problems to my higher power. Self-care means letting of the need to control.
- I needed to acknowledge that I am a work in progress. Self-care means accepting yourself and sitting in your feelings even when they are uncomfortable.
- I needed to understand that God was waiting for me in the nature of my misfortune. Self-care means respecting your feelings and understanding that this to shall pass.
- I needed to let go. Self-care is about being there for myself. That’s why self is a separate entity from care.
- I needed to journal. Self-care for me is writing down my thoughts and feelings.
- I needed to meditate. Although very uncomfortable at first, meditation helps me be aware of a higher consciousness and gets me out of my thoughts.
- I needed to be in acceptance. It gets crazy when I don’t accept my self will.
- I needed to understand that I am looking for progress not perfection.
- I needed to stop minimizing the pain and stop myself from feeling the pain. Feelings are not facts, and they are temporary.
- I needed to understand the past and process it to move on with my future.
- I needed to understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Life is a process. I need to be myself and be patient with my healing process and take it one moment, one hour, and one day at a time.
- I needed to take it easy. Even though I was feeling like crap, I needed to feel those feelings and not deny them. Self-care means self-acceptance and going easy on you.
And that’s all folks!
What are you doing for your self-care today?
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These are all really practical and helpful. I’m a fan of the 5 year plan. Sometimes we try to take on too much and it’s not good for us to carry that type of burden. Great post!
So true, Sara! It’s hard for me to know when to stop and when to go sometimes. I find that listening to my gut and honoring my feelings helps me make the right moves.
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