There is hope. Healing communities are available that can help. Your story matters, and other people are willing to listen no matter what the problems may be.
For many years, I played the victim role. I denied my own sense of reality and took care of others. Ignoring my needs made me sick. I had a denial of reality and I needed to listen to myself. I needed to do the hard work to look within. I needed help.
I always thought that I could figure things out on my own. Not prioritizing self-care was my daily norm for many years. I was overburdened with responsibilities and felt that I was giving so much that I was self righteous.
I had to learn that there was a greater good for me, and that my higher power can do for me what I couldn’t do for myself.
I had to feel the feelings. I had bad years. I ignored my instincts and was anxious often. I denied my sense of self and wanted to be the martyr.
I had to get out of my funk.
- I needed to admit to myself that my life was unmanageable, and I needed to ask for support.
- I needed to understand what I wanted, why I wanted it, and where I wanted to be. For this type of self-care, I had to create a 5 year plan so that I could plan to eventually get to my goals. I can’t do what I need to do in a lifetime in a day.
- I needed to be patient with myself. Self-care means accepting where I am at, even if it’s at the bottom.
- I needed to be honest with myself. It may be difficult but it is possible.
- I needed to verbalize my feelings to get better. Self-care involves speaking your truth.
- I needed to find a healing community. I found it on this list of self help groups here.
- I needed to mind my own business. Self-care means understanding that others peoples opinions of me are none of my business. Also, their progress is none of my business.
- I needed to create boundaries. Self-care means that if I don’t create boundaries for myself, people will run me over.
- I needed to be honest with family and friends. Self-care means being honest about where you are. It is okay to feel sad.
- I needed to get off my high horse. Self-care means that you are no better or no worse than no one else.
- I needed to pray for serenity. Praying gives me the opportunity to ask for what I want.
- I needed to stop lying to myself. Denying my reality makes me sick.
- I needed to give my problems to my higher power. Self-care means letting of the need to control.
- I needed to acknowledge that I am a work in progress. Self-care means accepting yourself and sitting in your feelings even when they are uncomfortable.
- I needed to understand that God was waiting for me in the nature of my misfortune. Self-care means respecting your feelings and understanding that this to shall pass.
- I needed to let go. Self-care is about being there for myself. That’s why self is a separate entity from care.
- I needed to journal. Self-care for me is writing down my thoughts and feelings.
- I needed to meditate. Although very uncomfortable at first, meditation helps me be aware of a higher consciousness and gets me out of my thoughts.
- I needed to be in acceptance. It gets crazy when I don’t accept my self will.
- I needed to understand that I am looking for progress not perfection.
- I needed to stop minimizing the pain and stop myself from feeling the pain. Feelings are not facts, and they are temporary.
- I needed to understand the past and process it to move on with my future.
- I needed to understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day. Life is a process. I need to be myself and be patient with my healing process and take it one moment, one hour, and one day at a time.
- I needed to take it easy. Even though I was feeling like crap, I needed to feel those feelings and not deny them. Self-care means self-acceptance and going easy on you.
And that’s all folks!
What are you doing for your self-care today?
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