I love finding a wise fortune cookie, but I absolutely LOVE finding a really funny one! It’s always nice to have a great unexpected laugh especially when you need it.
- To truly find yourself you should play hide and seek alone.
- Ignore previous cookie.
- Help! I’m being held prisoner in a Chinese bakery.
- If you eat something and nobody sees you eat it, it has no calories.
- Wouldn’t it be ironic to die in the living room?
- You’d better sleep it off!
- The fortune you seek is in another cookie.
- About time I got out of that cookie.
- You can’t have everything. Where would you put it all?
- When in anger, sing the alphabet.
- You are the crispy noodle in the vegetarian salad of life.
- You will go on a date with a beautiful woman. She could do so much better.
- You will be hungry again in one hour.
- Perhaps you’ve been focusing too much on saving.
- The end is near, and it’s all your fault.
- Shame on you for thinking a cookie is psychic.
- You just ate out.
- Here are the winning lottery numbers for September 3, 2021: 6,7,12,45,57.
- This cookie fell on the ground.
- Error 404. Fortune not found.
- Someone ahead of you in line will pay with a check.
- You need a mint. Like. Bad.
- If it seems fates are against you today, they probably are.
- Your pet is planning to eat you.
- You are not illiterate.
- You will receive praise for a job you didn’t do.
- You laugh now, wait till you get home.
- An alien of some sort will be appearing to you shortly.
- A foolish man listens to his heart. A wise man listens to cookies.
- Marriage lets you annoy one special person for the rest of your life.
- It could be better, but its good enough.
- Only listen to fortune cookie, disregard all other fortune telling units.
- Ask not what you r fortune cookie can do for you but what you can do for your cookie.
- It’s hard to stumble when you are on your knees.
- Pigeon poop burns the retina for 13 hours. You will learn this the hard way.
- A man with brown eyes has a surprise for you.
- No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.
- Eating Chinese food alone? At least it’s not Valentine’s Day.
- When you squeeze an orange, orange juice comes out – because that’s whats inside.
- You will be lucky in love or not so lucky. I really don’t know.
What is your favorite (mis)fortune cookie?
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