The 4 Ms – Manipulation, Managing, Mothering, + Martyrdom

Codependecy is an issue that can resolved with hard work on yourself, that will benefit others too if you are patient and persistent.

Ask yourself, how do/did I try to manipulate others?

“Setting up” a situation or passive/agressive behavior.

How do/did I try to manage and control my live and the lives of those around me?

How have I taken on responsibilities that were not mine?

Have I ever been called a control freak?

How do/did I mother others by “cleaning up” their problems, by doing things for them, etc?

How have I played the martyr. What did I hope to gain?

Alanon gives us tools and inventory in recognizing our behaviors, and gives us ways to detach lovingly and focus on self care.

The 4 Ms can be countered with the 3 As, Awareness, Acceptance and Action.

The 4 Ms can also be countered with the 3 Cs, we didnt cause it, we can’t control it, and we cannot cure it.

Same goes for the 6 Ps, perspective, pain, prayer, patience, process, and payoff.

What have you done this week to care for you?

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