It just got weird. Sound familiar? Same.
Things get weirder and weirder as I grow older and the more I realize what’s really going on, I get weird.
Weird mainly due to the fact that if I do things out of pandora’s box or differently than the crowd. And who wants to be part of the crowd? The sheep. And who wants to herd the sheep? The sheep herders. And who takes care of the sheep herders? Who cares, because we just came up with a list of weird things we do that YOU may do too.
1. We drink soy sauce right out of the packet. Why? Because we can. We have leftover soy sauce, and we aren’t afraid to drink it right out of the packet. So flagrantly, and so flawlessly. We don’t spill. We do it right. And together, we can do it. And it tastes delicious. Also there is a secret ingredient in soy sauce. Can you guess what is it? You guessed wrong, it’s licorice extract.
2. We don’t step on the cracks. Well in the sidewalk, that is. Why you ask? Because fables tell us they can break your mothers back. And how dare you do that. How dare you put your mom in jeopardy by stepping on the cracks and and put breaking your mothers back at risk? Selfish.
3. We work from home naked. Ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. Working naked from home is our god given right. And we’re sticking to it. We will not falter, we will not fail, and we will work from home in our birthday suit and press the send button.
4. We watch workout videos while dogging afternoon snacks. We don’t want to do the work. We want YOU to do the work. We will supervise. We will watch you do it on your own and slam that bag of potato chips in one sitting. Some may not be potato chip fans, so they’ll eat a sleeve of cookies instead. And we’re okay with that.
5. We take as many baths a day as we want. So sue us. Our water is included in our rent, so we are making it rain with the drip drops of faucets and never looking back.
Do you relate? If not, what weird things do you do that you want to call out?
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