Breaking up is hard to do. Here are ways to make it go a little more smoothly to lighten the blow for both of you.

1. First, it is important to know that it is OK to want to break up with someone. It’s part of life. Better sooner than later especially if that person is not right for you, and does not bring out the best in you.

2. Remember ahead of time that you will not and never will be able to control their reaction.

3. Be sure you REALLY want to break up. The worst thing is to go back and forth with someone, when your gut tells you it’s just not right.

4. Put yourself in their shoes while you are doing it and be sure to not make it a yelling fight if possible. Try to control your emotions and be stern on your delivery. Do not show up inebriated or impaired via drugs or alcohol if possible, as it would make you look not truly serious about the break up.

5. Do it in person. Sending a text or leaving a voicemail is pretty inconsiderate, and you wouldn’t want someone to do that to you.

6. Understand ahead of time that it will be difficult and that you are ready to deliver the bad news.

7. Don’t go into all the reasons why you want to break up, as at this point you’ve already made the decision to move on. Be considerate, be kind, and deliver the news as lightly as possible.

8. You can’t be friends after a break up. You just need to move on. Especially for women, from my personal experience, it is not healthy to be friends after you break up because the other may think there is still a chance it may work.

9. Plan for all the reactions, and try to stay as calm as possible.

10. End on a good note, share positive feedback, and wish them the best. Don’t make any follow up plans.