They say to focus on the things you can control, and instead of the things you cannot. Understanding these values are important for your mental health, your self-care, and your overall contribution to yourself and the world.
More recently, the world has been changing. There has been a huge shift to show us what is important and what is not. The pandemic has taught us who our true friends are. It has taught us who we can trust, and who we cannot. It has taught us to be as self-sufficient as possible, always saving for a raining day. Sometimes we don’t know how the chips of our life will fall, and it is easy for us to fall into a merry-go-round of pity and fear.
When we realize that we only have control over what we are doing, we are able to take back control and focus on the things that make us whole and fill us with joy. The simplicity of it helps us realign our values and focus on what it important. Once we know what we can control. This includes the following:
- Your happiness. Yes, that’s right. YOU are in charge of your own happiness. No one else. Not your husband, your parents, your sisters, your friends – that’s ALL YOU! Time to change things up!
- How open-minded you are. I sell myself short when I am not coach-able or approachable. When I think I am always right, it means that I have a narrow view of the world and am a lazy thinker. The possibilities are endless, I just haven’t been clever to figure them out yet.
- What you think about. Oh yes. It’s no one else’s fault as to what I think about, it’s mine. Being accountable for my thoughts and thinking patterns is all me. Coming up with a more optimistic outlook serves me more than focusing on the negative.
- What you talk about. As they say great minds discuss ideas, average minds discuss events, and small minds discuss people.
- What you eat. I try to make excuses for myself on this one daily. I pretend like I don’t have food at home and go waste money on the drive-thru. I pretend I don’t have vegetables in my refrigerator and go for the cookies instead. I am the only person that puts food in my mouth. So the only person that is accountable for the garbage food highway is me, myself and I.
- How kind you are. I am responsible for respecting others or at least being polite. I am noticing more people are being nasty to the employees at CVS, and I am going to have to ask you to stop it.
- Your priorities. I am the only one who manages my schedule, even if I have a nasty boss, I still have control over how I spend my time and who I spend it with. They say you are the sum of the 5 people you hang out with, so who are you?
- What you believe. I can still believe in Santa Claus if I want, it’s my prerogative. I do what I want to do. When I believe in myself, I can usually do anything.
- How personally you take things. As Monica says, don’t take it personal. Usually the way people treat you HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. That’s right. It’s usually someones own mind that is out a whack. What I am responsible for is THE WAY I REACT. Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me? Does it need to be said by me now? Usually those 3 questions will let you know whether or not you should speak up.
- Who are you hang out with. Stay classy.
- How seriously you take life. Some things are more important than others. It is up to each and every one of us how seriously we take life and how we plan out ours.
What other things can you control? What are some things you can’t?
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