Applying for a new job is a full time job in itself. Tweaking our resumes, updating our LinkedIn profile, spending hours on interviews that don’t pan out – something’s got to give!

We have learned through our careers to try and not take that rejection personally, even though we want to yell it on top of a mountain top. And yes, we can all be that butt hurt and immature.

We are really sick of interviewers trying to get information out of us with no real intention to hire us. Asking others to recreate or come up with their mission, values, and purpose on an interview is preposterous.

Getting something for nothing seems to be the name of the interview game now, and we are officially tapping out. *cue that proverbial click unsubscribe button now*

Rather than get all worked up, angry, and depressed, let us use sarcasm and a sprinkle of reality to lick our wounds.

This is why we’ve come up with 10 ridiculous reasons why we didn’t get the job, and the translations in sarcasm that we hope you throughly enjoy. Bon apetito!

  1. WE’VE GONE IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION – Translation: we have no idea what we’re doing.
  2. WE DON’T FIT THE COMPANY CULTURE – Translation: we are racist and discriminatory based on the way you look and act.
  3. WE ARE LOOKING FOR SOMEONE MORE SENIOR – Translation: we just don’t think you can do the job.
  4. WE BELIEVE YOU ARE OVERQUALIFIED – Translation: you have all the right experience for this job, but we want to pay you less than you deserve.
  5. WE JUST CAN’T HIRE YOU AT THIS TIME – Translation: we are interviewing you to keep our jobs.
  6. EVERYONE LIKED YOU, IT’S JUST NOT A GOOD FIT – Translation: one person felt threatened by you and we had to follow his lead to keep our jobs, as we don’t want any competition.
  7. WE CAN’T AFFORD YOU – Translation: our boss is cheap as hell, we reuse toilet paper in the office.
  8. WE SEE YOU HAVE NOT STAYED VERY LONG AT OTHER COMPANIES – Translation: we are finding excuses to not get to know you and your experience. We need something good on paper not actually good.

Who is with me here?

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