In the Leverage Ambition book review of How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie, we pull together 15 main points to takeaway post read.

  1. Think on our feet. When we drag our feet on responses, we can lose credibility. Coming up with clever and impromptu solutions show you care and can freely translate ideas. Although they may not be the final solution, your response is usually a starting point to greater expansive ideas.
  2. When working with others, it is critical not to criticize, condemn or complain. No one wants to hear that they did something wrong. Criticizing others is the least effective part of leadership. Instead asking questions and being positively interested in the others goals and helping them achieve them will be your best bet to win friends and influence people.
  3. Understand what the other person is eager to receive, and help them fulfill it. You can understand what they want by simply asking them. You can ask them, then after plan on trying to help them fulfill them.
  4. Smile and be genuinely kind. Everyone can spot a faker, so don’t be that gal or guy.
  5. Be honest and gentle. Honestly does not have to be as brutal as it seems. Be gentle and be honest in a light airy way. You can indirectly suggest improvements in group meeting if addressing that person directly on their mistake can fill them with shame and guilt. This in turn can make your employees or friends distrust and eventually not like you.
  6. Saying a persons name is the biggest complement you can give them. Addressing people by name is a form of sincere flattery as everyone loves to hear their own name.
  7. Avoid arguments at any cost. Statements like wow, let me get back to you, or great question can help delay responses and allow you to review intended comebacks with your superiors, mentors or coaches.
  8. Challenge others by dramatizing ideas to get others excited about implementing them.
  9. The less you talk the better off you are, so ask a lot of questions.
  10. Allow other people to think your ideas are theirs, let them take the credit.
  11. Instead of giving direct orders, asking questions to help other find the answer works better than criticizing.
  12. Understand the other persons point of view, aka the who, what, where, why and how they think the way that they do.
  13. Talk about the things that other people desire and figure out ways to help them achieve them.
  14. We are emotional, not logical, where most of our are vain and full of prejudices that help us achieve our pride and float our ego.
  15. Focus on the other persons interest and talk it up.

I really enjoyed reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.

Have you read it yet yourself? What other leadership and friendship skills do you use to be a better friend or leader?

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