I have done a ton of self reflection over the last year, and I am proud to say that I am not perfect. It has taken me a long time to truly look at myself. I have always been focused on other people, and never made time for myself. I think it has something to do with my upbringing and never feeling like I needed to focus on me. I was taught that you are only worthy if you are giving to others, the problem is that I forgot to give to myself.
Here is a list of my character flaws paired with the assets that you may resonate with today:
- I am impatient, but I can try to be patient. I always want things as soon as I think of them, and if I don’t get it it produces an immense sense of anxiety. The urgency wants me to rush through a project to finish it, rather than taking my time and doing it slowly. I think this has to do with my childhood and trying to take care of things as quickly as possible to avoid negative consequences. Either way, I will be patient.
- I have been insecure for many years, but I can work on being self confident. For many years, I had really bad skin. I had awful acne in my teens, and it was embarrassing. I was ashamed of the pimples on my face, so I tried to focus on other things to distract people from looking at my face, like gymnastics and cheerleading. I was very insecure, but the older I get the more self confident I can be. I got micro-dermabrasion facials to help my skin look smoother. I also take care of my diet and the Paleo diet really helped clean up my skin, along with drinking a lot of lemon water.
- I have been intolerant of other people behaviors, but I am working on being more understanding and patient. When I put the focus on me, I tend to be happier and healthier.
- I have the tendency to be controlling, and I know that I have to let go and let God. How egotistical of me to think I have control over other people’s behaviors. I only have control over my actions and my thoughts. Feelings are not facts, and sometimes keeping the focus on myself helps divert me from having the tendency to control others.
- I have the tendency to be critical, when I know I need to be non-judgmental, tolerant and praising instead. There is a voice inside of me that tells me I am not good enough or smart enough to figure things out, when I know that is false. Being over critical of myself will only drive me to fear and shaky results, where as the opposite I know I need to be tolerant and graceful on myself and others.
- I have the tendency to be a perfectionist, when I need to set realistic goals as to not drive me crazy. I need to think about my mental health and self awareness, and go easy on myself. It is okay to work hard but it is necessary to create a safe, positive space for myself to rest.
- I tend to be spiteful, when I should be forgiving. People are going to do what they have to do, and I cannot be bothered by it. I tend to be spiteful when things do not go my way, and people do things that I do not like them to do. Even if someone does me wrong, I cannot hold a grudge. I need to forgive and hopefully I will forget. If it means letting go of relationships that are not healthy for me, that is okay as long as you forgive and let go.
- I can sometimes be wasteful, when I can be more frugal. Sometimes I splurge on things I do not need. I know that I should be saving money, and I can do this by only buying things that I absolutely need.
- I have the tendency to enable others by giving too much, and I know now that I have to set healthy boundaries to give my relationships the dignity to be themselves and learn from their own mistakes.
- I can be fearful sometimes, when I know I should be strong, confident, and courageous. It is okay to be scared sometimes, but obsessive fear on things that are not real or not in the now are not going to be effective for me.
What character flaws and assets are you working on this year?
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