THE INTERNAL NARRATIVES WE TELL OURSELVES, AND HOW WE CAN HELP EACH OTHER

Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

This article is about understanding the narratives we tell ourselves, and how it effects our daily living.

The Black Lives Matter BLM# movement has taken place this year of COVID 2020.  BLM is a social injustice collaboration with people worldwide to end the injustice of systemic and overt and covert racism in America and beyond.

We’ve seen countless African American lives lost to poverty, injustice in the schools, injustice in their homes, injustice in their workplace, injustice riding a bike, only for being the color of their skin.

One time is way too many.  We need to understand how the racism is played out and how we can stop it.

Here are some actions we can take to better understand the fight, how we can validate it, and how we can help ourselves and each other.

  1. Educate ourselves.
  2. Understand the narratives we’ve been brought up to believe need to be audited by ourselves.
  3. Ask questions, there are no dumb ones.  We need to learn by having those uncomfortable conversations and not feel we are in danger when we understand others opinions and narratives that they have learned on their time on earth.
  4. Read, read, read.  Read history, ask questions, get help.
  5. Speak to others about their experiences with racism, how it felt, how it effected them and others, what they did about it, and maybe how they’d do it differently.
  6. Have the difficult conversations with family and friends.
  7. Support and validate others feelings, and sometimes it’s ok to agree to disagree.
  8. Introspection is critical when thinking about your own circles of friends.  Why are we friends?  What is the common thread that holds us together.
  9. Audit and research the companies you support, to see whether or not you’d like to support that culture before working there.
  10. Donate to the causes that you feel are making a positive difference in the education and lives of others.
  11. Dive into your own religious beliefs and question why you believe what you believe.  Do your research in your Bible, etc. Is your religion perpetuating an underlying support of white supremacy or patriarchy?  Is it inclusive and support the greater good?
  12. Audit your social media accounts.  Why am I following this person?  Is it because of a belief I have?
  13. Audit how you feel after you read or watch the media.  Time is and then do an analysis after to see how you feel.  Has it challenged you?  Is it making you feel bad?  I know I have also unsubscribed from politics this election year and those that oversubscribe to it.
Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com

I hope these helped!  Would love to hear how you are coping this year in the comments below.  Please share your suggestions or ways we can help and support each other during this time.  Thanks for reading!

Birthday Week: What I’ve Learned, What I’ve Accomplished + How It’s Helped Me Grow

It’s my birthday today!  I am 39 years old with soon to be 7 year old twin boys, my proudest accomplishment.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

  • Haters are great motivation, and if you don’t have any you aren’t doing it right.  People naturally envy motivated, successful people.  The difference is the action after you put in the hate time.  As a woman we feel like we have to have everyone like us to give us our value, and we are taught to nuture those that are maybe kurt and disrespectful to us.  Taking disrespect is not something that should be in our realms and we need to set the bar high for ourselves and our self esteem.
  • Make failure your childhood friend. It is good to fail, when you learn from it and set a standard for doing better next time.
  • Do your best everyday.  Sales is a life game.  Killing yourself is going to lead to burn out.
Photo by Luis Quintero on Pexels.com
  • Take care of your mental and physical health.  Eating right, meditation, long walks, all of these can help you succeed.  Your work is not your life.
  • Make time for yourself.  And yourself alone.   And don’t feel guilty about it. Having mental health days to just let yourself be, without doing any unwanted work.
  • Bad bosses stunt your growth, so if you don’t have one find another.  There are many great leaders you can follow in life.  No need to stick around for a year anywhere where you are being mistreated or disrespected.  Allowing disrespect and not sticking up for yourself will only cause long term damage and regret.
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com
  • You can’t change people, but you can change your association and reaction to them.  You are the 5 people you spend time with the most.  Choose wisely.
  • To have a great friend, you have to be one.  I ain’t got time to nourish relationships that will not garner long term positive growth for me or them.
  • Go easy on yourself.  The world is not perfect and neither are you, ever.  Treat yourself the way you’d want to be treated, you queen!  Or king… 😉
Photo by Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels.com
  • The kids are okay.  I find myself always comparing milestones to other children and the reality is, the kids are going to be fine even if they don’t get an A on their book report.  Most successful people and entrepreneurs I know now got straight C’s and some D’s, and they’re fine.
  • Go easy on the kids. Parents tend to put a lot of pressure on kids, as they only have 18 years to really keep them theirs IF they are lucky.  If you are nice, supportive, fair and respectful, the lifetime relationship is more important than putting so much pressure on them that they don’t want to see you again, like a bad boss.
  • You need to respect you before anyone does.  Self respect attracts others and is more important than admiring others.
  • Audit your internal narratives daily.  Your internal narratives dictate your thoughts, feelings and actions.  Think wisely.
Photo by Karolina Grabowska on Pexels.com

That is all for today.  Hope you have a great birthday too. What have you learned that has helped your future? What are you looking to achieve this year? Hit me up on the comments below!

WHOLE30 MEALS IM LOVING NOW

Photo by Taryn Elliott on Pexels.com

This is my 4th round of Whole30, and it’s hard girl!  The things I miss most but are most dangerous for me include whole milk (can you tell I have kids yet?), toast with butter and jelly, and WINE. WINE, WINE, WINE!

I know it’s only for 30 days but it’s a hike uphill for sure.  Or maybe we can lighten the mood with it being a journey…ha!

Either way here are 5 WHOLE30 Meals I’m loving right now!

Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com
  1. Banana Pancakes – Not having refined sugar has been tough, and each morning I wake up craving sugar! ;-(  A simple solution here is mashed banana, mashed in an egg, cinnamon and nutmeg too.  You can use coconut oil in the pan and cook.  It has been my go to as I think I am craving sugar because I am getting my period soon. Merp.
  2. Larabar Cashew Cookie – Girl, I know you’re not supposed to have cookies, but this ain’t your regular cookie!  This Larabar has cashews and dates all mashed up together and the combo is DELISH!  I highly recommend having these in stock when you get that craving for sugar.
  3. Sliced Apples – Hey now, calm down.  It’s simple but it works.  Dip in compliant almond butter and add some raisins and there you go!
  4. Chicken Stew – Oh yes.  It’s summer time and I am eating stew!  It’s not winter.  I start with olive oil, salt, pepper, red chili powder, crushed red pepper, then add chopped onion, cherry tomatoes, peeled and chopped potatoes, and cook chicken.  When I am not on Whole30 I’ll add a cup of wine at the onion stage and it really adds an extra kick in the mouth.
  5. Crustless Quiche – Okay don’t judge me.  “Quiche with a crust? WTF?” Yes it is possible and delicious.  Eggs, precooked uncured bacon, chopped tomatoes, mushrooms, shredded cabbage, chopped potatoes, and bake at 300 degrees for 25 minutes.  You may eat the whole thing in one sitting.
Photo by Malidate Van on Pexels.com

Some WHOLE30 Meals to wash it down include La Croix with sliced lime, hot tea with coconut milk, cold water with lemon, cucumber and mint with a pink of sea salt, and you’re off to enjoy another successful WHOLE30 Round!  Enjoy little lady!

Photo by Ksenia Chernaya on Pexels.com

Surviving this Year

Photo by Valeria Boltneva on Pexels.com

COVID, also known as the coronavirus, is a massive flu that had killed over 100,000 people and affected millions world wide.  Scientists and health professionals are comparing it to the Spanish Flu of 1918, and most all are working from home, schooling their kids from home, have lost their jobs, and it is more important than ever to take care of ourselves.  Most of us were already wearing 10 hats and now with the hunker downing its 20. 

Self management during this crisis is critical.

Here are some tips on coping and hoping with ease:

  • Enya is your new mix tape. Your environment and home is your sacred space.  if it’s not, your car, your local Starbucks drive through, your local CVS, all are escapes to peaceful bliss. 
  • I hate the term time management, but it’s very important especially now. Daily tasks need to be set, and the best way to execute them is to take care of what you need to do first.  Don’t give a %#$% what other people are doing, focus on the time in the day and segment it towards your long and short term goals.  Good questions to ask yourself include, what do I want to accomplish today?,  what do I need to accomplish today?,  what will make me feel accomplished by accomplishments completed?
  • You are what you eat. As much as I want to eat 30 dumplings in one sitting, I need to take care of my body.  My body is my temple.  Eating clean as possible is recommended, and fresh fruits and vegetables should be readily available at your home ready to cook.  Grocery list pick recommendations include sweet potatoes, white potatoes, eggs, nuts, Lara Bars, and wine (no more than one glass a day if absolutely necessary). Drink water to avoid dehydration, and wash your damn hands.
  • Set your boundaries. This is key.  Used to group chats?  Now is a sensitive time and if you feel more stressed after conversations with certain family and friends, it is OK to limit those to what you are comfortable with.  Audit your conversations to see how you feel after the interaction.  If it’s overly stressed and it’s complicates your daily living and survival you need to reassess the relationship and push the pause button as often as possible.
  • Worm hole of social media will suck you up and you may never return.  Auditing your social media accounts is crucial as well.  Election years are already tough and with the hunker downs now we need to temporarily block ads that are good for our well being.  People that have been over accommodating and over serving others will most affected by this.  It’s OK to give emotional support but relationships should work both ways in mutual respect.
  • Tame slash entertain the kids.  – My kids are the best things that ever happened to me, but to avoid extra stress I have been setting boundaries more often on time for me.  This can be hard and sometimes I feel guilty, however it’s good for parents to get alone time to avoid getting angry at them.  The activities that have worked best are necklace making (bought a 5 pound bag of beads and string on Amazon), play dough (on the kitchen table only, and THEY have to clean it up), Netflix movies (Despicable Me, The Grinch (it’s Christmas in July), Morphle, Garfield, all were sure bets for us), Baking brownies (pre-made mix is the best and we mixed it with a few eggs and water, right in the 9×11 pan and wallah!).
  • Don’t splurge on that new bag.  – The economy is weird now, and your first priority is paying your rent and paying for your food.  If you can’t live in or eat the bag, it’s time to pass on cutting grass.  For now anyway!

No matter what the circumstances are, don’t break!  We have all felt like we were dead before, and we all have made a come back.  If you have any other tips to share, please do below. We are all in this together!

Photo by Matt Hardy on Pexels.com

35 Inspiring Betrayal, Hope, & Resilience Quotes to Help You Heal

If you’ve clicked this article, someone has messed with you and hurt you.  I am sorry, and it is OK to not be OK.  Not uncommon in human nature, bullies, envy, and a whole mess of reasons could have led to someone to stray from loyalty.  Not to make excuses for bad behavior here, but sometimes that helps me cope.

Betrayal is not a reflection on you.  It’s a reflection on them.  Others actions dictate character.  Betrayal also saves you from disloyal friends and enemies alike.

Have you been betrayed before?  I would love to learn more about your betrayal below, as we all have had those closest to us hurt us and can support each other in our emotional growth.  The camaraderie here will help us process our negative feelings and allow us to move on. 

Negative emotions are best to be processed like a lightning bolt to an electricity pole, the emotions should go right through you and into the ground.  Denying pain and blocking it will just cause more pain later down the road and it is your turn to heal.  Let me help you process your feelings below with the Betrayal Quotes that remind us how it can cut like a knife:

BEST BETRAYAL QUOTES

  • “Trust, once lost, could not be easily found.  Not in a year, perhaps not even in a lifetime.” – J.E.B Spredemann
  • “For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.” – Susan Collins
  • “Betrayal is for men with no conscience.” – Toba Beta
  • “It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” – William Blake
  • “Stab the body and it heals, but injure the heart and the wound lasts a lifetime.” – Mineko Iwasaki
  • “Betrayal is the only truth that sticks.” – Arthur Miller
  • “It is more shameful to be trusted by friends than to be deceived by them.” – Confucius

BEST HOPE QUOTES

  • “Hope is being able to see that there is light despite all of the darkness.” – Desmond Tutu
  • “We must accept finite disappointment, but never lost infinite hope.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • “Just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings.” – Elie Wiesel

BEST RESILIENCE QUOTES

  • “Someone said adversity builds character, but someone else said adversity reveals character. I’m pleasantly surprised with my resilience.  I persevere, and not just blindly.  I take the best, get rid of the rest, and move on, realizing that you can make a choice to take the good.” – Brooke Shields
  • “It’s fine when you careen off disasters and terrifyingly bad reviews and rejection and all that stuff when you’re young; your resilience is just terrific.” – Harold Prince

I hope you enjoyed this compilation. What are your favorite quotes on hope and resilience?