These are the days to remember, said the 10,000 Maniacs. Our time in the trauma of invisibility is very real. People are addicted to social platforms that force us to engage to exist. Now we are in this space where we are in the trauma of invisibility. Where we feel alone and unseen. Where we are sick and suffering. Where we are nervous and confused. We patch up our feelings with addictions ranging from screens to drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, sex and more.

I have been getting into new self-help books, like A New Pair of Glasses by Chuck Chamberlain. To sum up it up, this book reminds us that we all are a little piece of god and that we are all connected despite the illusion of being separate. A New Pair of Glasses tells us let go of the bad, and bring on the new. It tells us to stop focusing on our defects, and start looking for the solution. When we let go of the bad, we are able to bring on the new. Change is good although it can feel difficult. Fear is just self-centered judgement that prevents us from connection and positive well-being. This does not all come overnight though. We need to act the part and fake it until we make it into right thinking.

Commonly people that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually have these common traits and characteristics:

  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually have to serve their parents need, instead of the parents serving their needs, thus the child feels abandoned and alone.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually have conditional love from their parents. This conditional love means the parent says that they love you when you perform certain tasks, like folding the laundry, doing the dishes, or getting them a drink. This is an incidious, negative form of emotional abuse.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility have a lack of individualism and tend to lean towards codependent and abusive relationships.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually have to hide from others because of fear of not being accepted due to prejudice from their race, sex, marital status, financial status, or religious beliefs.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually have unhealthy communication due to not feeling good enough, not feeling smart enough, or not feeling pretty enough as examples.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually have depression which can skew their value or worth.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually feel invisible, like they are not a vital part of the world.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually have unrealistic and perfectionism expectations of themselves the skew reality and are quite frankly unnecessary.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually bottle up their feelings, and don’t immediately communicate their worries or concerns which blows up later on and manifests in other ways either through undeserving people.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually do not feel like they belong or that they are not truly loved by anyone.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually have parents that had them to age-inappropriate responsibilities, like drive without a driver’s license, buy alcohol for them, or do the grocery shopping.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually feel vulnerable often and isolate due to insecurities, whether real or perceived.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility usually pull away emotionally when they feel threatened or not.
  • People that are afflicted by the trauma of invisibility need to be nurtured and accepted by massive self-care and loving themselves first.

The good news is that we all feel invisible at times. The solution is connection, even though it may not feel natural or your most favorite thing to do at the moment. If you need outside help, reach out to those that can help. There are thousands of people that would love to talk to you. BetterHelp.com has great online therapists ready to chat 24/7 and there are great people out there that are ready to help.

You are not alone. Many of us feel threatened or scared about the pandemic, but there is hope. We have our fellows here and others ready to listen to you. But you need to take that first step to help yourself before others can help you.

We are all in this together, and you are loved.

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