An old man walking down the street yesterday said ‘F%^& YOU’ to me for no apparent reason this weekend. I balked. Instead of engaging, I walked on by.
I did not stoop to his level. I realized that it had nothing to do with me.
I also realized that it is actually an offense that is both fine-able and jail-able for up to 6 months. Next time I may call the cops, but this time around I politely walked on by.
I wanted to talk about grief and anger management in our time today. I wanted to first define the 7 stages of grief.
THE 7 STAGES OF GRIEF
- Denial and shock with numb feelings.
- Guilt and pain.
- ANGER – what I am going to discuss today.
- Depression
- An upward move.
- Working through the construction area.
- Acceptance and HOPE.
Many people have experience an immense amount of change and loss during the pandemic. Many have sook out for professional help with therapists and group therapy, others have drudged through it with immense pain. The reality is, our time is going through a WAR. The pandemic was an act of war on the world. It shut the entire world down and others fell hard, some fell forward. The reality is the pain lingers on and when you need to accept help, you need to ask for it.
ANGER is only one letter away from DANGER. We have talked about the destructive behavior of anger in previous articles, but I want to go over the points of anger that have troubled us, along with some serenity clauses and prayers to move about the day. As a reminder, we only have today.
Do you find you are angry more often than not? Do you tend to explode or implode when things don’t go your way? Have you blown up on others? Typically those people you blow up on aren’t responsible, it’s YOU. Learning ways to not explode on others and keep it calm is something I want to talk about today. Anger is a normal human emotion. But when we ACT on it with violence it is not OKAY. If you need help or are in trouble contact 911 and they can direct you to the right people.
Here are some simple statements and reminders to get us started.
REALISTIC REMINDERS
- Anger is not the way to solve our problems.
- Feelings aren’t facts.
- Thoughts aren’t things.
- No peace, no power.
- God desires our righteousness.
- Stay in your zone.
- Other peoples reactions are none of my business.
- Keep calm, and carry on.
- Anger never makes anything better.
- Don’t repress anger or express it wrongly.
- Self-control and anger is wise.
- When someone does you wrong, help someone else.
- You will win every battle if you fight like this.
- Don’t be a doormat.
- Let others know when they are verbally abusing you. i.e. You are mistreating me, and I don’t have to deal with it.
- Controlled anger is best, be a man or woman of a few words.
- Pray, bless, and do good to overcome evil. Overcome evil with good.
- Evil + Evil = More Evil
- Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.
We all experience anger, but remember, it is transient and not permanent. It is fleeting or emphemeral.
SELF-CARE IDEAS
- Radical acceptance, if I am anxious I am not in acceptance.
- Listen to myself.
- Know when to seek outside help. Call a therapist or a friend.
- Write a daily journal.
- Take responsibility for your thoughts and actions and know when to stop obsessing over things we can’t change.
- Reach out to your community and help where you can. Volunteering will get you out of self and into a better life.
- Verbalize boundaries.
- Know that God is waiting for you to come to him and is ready to help through prayer.
- Understand that you are enough.
- God is waiting for you in your misfortune.
- Let go, and let God.
- Focus on myself with out permission.
- Don’t use kindness to ignore yourself.
- Be courageous.
RECOVERY TIPS
- Relax, nothing is under our control.
- What needs to be said, needs to be said.
- Remember to have fun.
- Jello needs time to form as it should when you leave it alone.
- Make time for swinging, dancing, singing and playing.
- Pray for my foes.
- Give myself a break.
- Change is not easy.
- Surrender to god.
- Notice the little things.
- Keep my feet on the ground.
- Share with trusted friends.
- Easy does it.
- Meditating daily helps my awareness and yields positive change and efficiency.
- Stop trying to control and manipulate anymore.
- I help myself and have a great day.
- I am patient or I become one.
- In time, I will hear problems but will eventually get solutions.
- Judging others only makes me guilty.
- Slow down like a snail, and don’t gossip.
- I have choices.
- Understand that life is a blessing, and forgiving myself.
- Don’t bring up things that are none of my business.
- I am not responsible for other peoples feelings.
- Quiet time is essential and needed daily for refelction. Disconnection is connecting to our higher power.
- Everything is in God’s hands, he’s got the whole world in his hands.
- Understand what is my responsibility and what’s not mine.
- Don’t take myself too seriously.
- Embrace the gift of levity.
- Don’t focus on the past or the future.
- Run free in the sand, the woods, and the fields.
PRAYER FOR TODAY
Lord, prepare me for what I am praying for. I have confidence that you hear all my prayers. Thank you God, for all the blessings that are coming my way.
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