I have a terminal case of the Mondays today, my mind is running at 150 MPH, when all I need to do is gently pull the breaks and pause.

First things first, I need to ask myself:


My inner jackass whisperer, aka my inner thoughts and mind, can only be stopped by yours truly: me, myself and I.

There is so much to do in so little time, and I need to get better at talking to myself in a positive, and gentle way, rather than barking at myself internally and then freezing up, ESPECIALLY ON A MONDAY.

On one side my other angel on my shoulder tells me that I need to get s#$% done, and worries that I will never get anything done on time.

AS JERRY SPRINGER WOULD SAY TO HIS AUDIENCE, we looked into that and determined that that was a lie.

I have worked on time management and energy budgeting before, but I still always seem to make excuses to not take care of myself first. I have learned that especially unrealistic expectations can dangerously lead me led to massive resentments and that I need to talk to myself as if I were talking to my best friend, child, or motherly like figure that has it all figured out. The only way I will be effective in my daily life is by being gentle with myself by taking care of me first, before taking care of others.

The reality is, we’ve all been there. The threats of daily life can be triggering and the only way to stop the madness is by having better self control and giving up what we have control over and what we do not. And sometimes it happens on the daily. We get triggered by ridiculousness. And what do we do? We repeat the same mistakes over and over again expecting different results, UNTIL TODAY!

As Mrs. Doubtfire says, HELP IS ON THE WAY!

So let’s get first things first.

My TRIGGERS are a blessing because they make me understand WHAT I NEED TO WORK ON MYSELF.

I do not have the ability to change other people, places and things and relinquishing that control is the first step to freedom. I’ve come with 3 additional ways to stop your inner jackass whisperer by stopping yourself and acting on impulses that may not be appropriate or polite.

P.S. just in case you are not down with the lingo, the Urban Dictionary defines a jackass whisperer as, ‘one who tries to explain him or her self to a Jackass,’ wherein that jackass can certainly and most always be myself.

We’ve all been there. We get TRIGGERED and we RESPOND with contempt when we should have just minded our own DAMN BUSINESS.

With age and a ton of research on healing and recovery, here are 3 ways to stop your inner jackass now and put that negative self talk on hold for just today:

  1. Thoughts are just things, and facts are not feelings. Do my inner thoughts it need to be revealed? Do they need to be said by me? Do they need to be said now? How important is it? Understanding that immediate reactions are not necessary will help you disengage and save yourself and your sanity first.
  2. Is my check engine light on? Meaning am I angry, tired, or hungry at this point in time? Am I able to respond with integrity instead of contemptuously? Have I filled my cup first and taken care of myself first before taking care of others?
  3. Have I engaged when I should have paused? Can I get to it later? How important is it? Do I have control over it?

The best way to combat HATERS or self hatred is to not pick up that proverbial rope. Because we all know that when we do, all we do is end up hanging ourselves and disturbing our peace.

And there in lies our inner jackass whisperer.

HATERS GONNA HATE, but potatoes are going to potate.

How are you going to be in potate mode today while taking care of yourself?

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