Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you’re going to get according to Forest Gump. He is quite the wizard and philosopher. There are many parts of life that we have yet to understand. Sometimes I wish there was a life guide book out there to help me learn the lessons before making mistakes. It seems though that many of us have to learn things the hard way to actually learn an not repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

With that, I found that the 10 pillars below are things I still need to perfect as I grow older and wiser. Here are 10 things people learn too late that you can try to learn as we go here.

  1. Life isn’t fair. Did your mom or dad tell you that growing up? I always remember that when I didn’t get something I really wanted, my mom would always say life isn’t fair, when I really felt that just she wasn’t being fair. The reality is we do not get to pick our parents or our circumstances. I fully believe that God puts us in the right families to challenge us to help us learn important lessons that we may have known beforehand. Life isn’t fair all the time. Sometimes someone else gets picked for that job opportunity. Sometimes someone else wins when you tried so hard to get that number one spot. Reality is, sometimes you’ll win and sometimes you’ll lose. You do learn more when you lose.
  2. Family matters more than friends. If you haven’t noticed already your friends are most always temporary. I find that certain friends appear for certain reasons and seasons to help guide us and teach us lessons that we may need help learning. Family is permanent. We cannot choose our family however we can learn from their mistakes and try to be better than what was provided to us previously as we grow into adulthood and have families of our own.
  3. Everything is temporary. Nothing is going to stay the same forever, and we all change as we go. My maturity, my strength, my moods, my feelings, and my beliefs all have changed and made me the person I am today. Nothing is permanent. Even feelings are temporary and sometimes not true or valid. Understanding that we are not perfect and that are circumstances will change as we take one step at a time and put one foot in front of the other.
  4. Happiness is a choice and requires hard work. It’s not easy being happy. You really have to work at it, and sometimes it requires doing things that make you unhappy to understand what you really want. Being happy can be temporary, but we do want to try to feel happy daily as it is goo for the mind, body, and soul. Reflect on the things you are grateful for and know that you are loved.
  5. Beneath anger there is always fear. Fear is a big driver in getting things done. Anxiety is not always a bad thing, as it prevents us from getting into trouble. If we are too anxious though over things that are not rational threats this is when there can be issues. It is hard to be bold but this is the only way we overcome our fears and grow to be our best selves.
  6. Others treat you the way you treat yourself. If you treat yourself with disrespect, others will think it is okay to disrespect you. If you honor your time, mind, and body, others will do the same. It is important to respect yourself by setting boundaries and letting people figure out what they need to do on their own. You only have control over your reactions and your life. As they say, life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. Act wisely.
  7. The biggest risk is not taking any risk. Taking a risk is necessary for growth. It expands your mind, tests your limits, and shows you what is possible in your life. You need to take risks and fail sometimes to show you what is right for you and what is not right for you. Take risks as the more you risk the more likely you are able to win a big reward.
  8. A lifetime isn’t as long as you think. Think about it. I am almost 40 years old. This means that almost half of my life is almost over. Have I achieved everything that I’ve wanted to achieve? Do I have a set of lifetime goals that I want to achieve and learn before I exit this thing called life? Make sure your daily lives are working towards the long term goals you set, so you can chip at the old block and hit the goals you need to make you feel accomplished.
  9. Don’t play it too safe. It is easy to stay in the same job unhappy for years and years. I have seen it in so many lives where they just do the same job day in and day out because it is safe and pays the bills. But is it something that we need to change. When nothing changes, nothing changes. Being stagnant doesn’t help your growth trajectory and leaves you complacent and usually unfulfilled and unhappy. Take risks and change things up to make you excited to get up every morning to do your best work.
  10. Things don’t matter so much. Things come and things go, but it is not typically the travesty we think it is. Just as life is temporary, we all come under circumstances that make us upset and unhappy. Just because someone told you you can’t do what you want to do doesn’t mean you can’t do it. Don’t let bad days become bad weeks, bad months or bad years. Move from the victim mentality to the growth mentality and try try again.

What are some other pillars of things we need to learn to be happier and healthier in our lives? What can we learn to help us grow with confidence?

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