Personal progress depends on the ability to shift your mindset and shift your behavior. We have all been there before. We get out of one relationship to get into another with a different person that has the exact same characteristics than the last. We get out of one job to get out of dealing with a toxic co-worker when that same toxic person manifests themselves in the next job.

Now here we are. We are understanding the commonalities of our issues, and we are ready to make a change. When you obsessively think about an issue, that issue tends to reappear due to the law of attraction. What you think can all of a sudden appear and appear again as you continue to perseverate on it.

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Here are five reason why the same problems keep repeating themselves.

  1. You haven’t learned the lesson yet.

The same issues will continue to reappear until you learn the correct response. Coping skills are an important measurement of maturity and taking responsibilities for your actions are also key. If you have not learned to cope with a bully, that bully will keep reappearing until you learn how to stand up to yourself. We tend to manifest different relationships in our lives that have similar character traits then our families and friends. We should know how to deal with the persons personality, but we are lost. In order to live harmoniously, it is imperative to stay in your hula hoop and realize that you only have control over your reaction. You are in control of where you keep your feet, so choose wisely.

2. The people are not the problem, you are.

You have the option to collaborate with different characters in your life. Certain characters tend to cause more chaos than others. You have the ability to distance yourself from bad characters that do not bring out your best self, and setting boundaries is key. If there are people that you are forced to deal with, say in a work situation, then you need to map out different coping skills and your corresponding appropriate responses. When you map out an if then situational and circumstantial roadmap, it will help you be the boss of yourself and give you the ammunition you need to stick up for yourself. You can’t change anyone but yourself. Go easy on yourself, and make a response plan to verbal and communicative emergencies.

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3. You take some bad risks that end up in the same bad place.

Problems keep repeating themselves when you take risks that don’t pan out well. Although it is fun to try something new, sometimes it is better to do something that is less risky and more suitable to your needs. For example, my friend always likes to try new jobs in new industries. Instead of doing vertically based jobs say in the health industry, he bounces around in the technology industry then a year later he tries out the gaming industry. The moral of the story is that it is okay to change your profession, but expect to have to learn a whole new skill set that you haven’t had to before. This makes it difficult because there are always other people more knowledgeable and more talented than you are. If you take safer risks, you will end up in a safer place.

4. You believe it’s your way or the highway.

You are always right. You cannot be wrong. You are not flexible. You block change. When you make it your way or the highway, you lose. It is important to communicate and collaborate in a flexible way, and understand that everyone has different forms of communication that will be ideal for you and not ideal for you. Patience, love and understanding is key to being flexible and being a good person. When you are open to change, you open yourself up to new opportunities.

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5. You expect others to fill a need that you need to fill yourself.

Self awareness and self acceptance are two very different concepts that need to be looked at as you grow. There may be certain aspects of your life that you feel resentful about, or maybe felt like you were cheated out of great parents, or a great home, etc. etc. Certain things need to be addressed internally either with different twelve step programs out there or EMDR therapy that can help you address your fears and programming that you may not already be aware that your are doing.

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