The last few years have been quite the merry-go-round for all of us. We have learned to assimilate when our daily routines where completely flipped upside down. We learned how to be there for our families and stay safe while the world was looking like a scary place.

When pressure comes down on us, we all tend to process it in different ways. When things pile up and emotions and self-care are put on the sidelines, we get overwhelmed and frustrated. This cause us to lash out. We all get to that proverbial breaking point, but there are effective ways to prevent a meltdown and things we can do when we are feeling stuck or trapped.

We all have that breaking point of feeling overwhelmed and under cared for and can easily lash out on others. Mainly these others are people that are not deserving or the actual cause of our frustration. The reality is that there are helpful coping skills we can use to readjust our minds and help us use our words as wonders instead of weapons.

Keep in mind that reactions are emotion-driven and responses are logical and thoroughly thought-based.

Questions to ask myself to help me respond versus react:

  1. Do I want to be right or do I want to be free?
  2. Is the person asking for help?
  3. Am I saying yes when I should say no?
  4. How am I feeling right now?
  5. Do I need to pause and take a break?
  6. Am I complaining?
  7. Am I in control of others opinions of me?
  8. Am I in control of others actions and reactions?
  9. What is the context of the conversation?
  10. How will my contribution to the conversation yield to the higher good of the purpose?
  11. What are my choices in this situation?
  12. Do I need to get back to this situation at a later time to think this through?
  13. What is the outcome you are looking to achieve?
  14. Are my expectations realistic?
  15. Do I want the same things as the others within the group?
  16. Am I responsible for fixing the situation?

Ways to help myself:

  1. Therapy is the new black. Meaning everyone is getting therapy now, it’s cool to get therapy, and no one is in charge of my recovery but myself.
  2. Understanding the root cause of all our troubles is fear, and diving into that fear and understanding what we are really scared of will help us understand why our impulses are out of whack.
  3. I have the decision on whether to be awesome or an alligator.
  4. We need to follow the rules and are not above them.
  5. Remember that we are all in the same boat.
  6. Understand that reaching out and joining support groups is the opposite of isolating and distancing ourselves from the group.
  7. The universe wants me to be happy, joyous and free.
  8. I can’t get hung up on something I can’t repair.
  9. No one is waiting for me to roll-up with my genius.
  10. I don’t need to justify, argue, defend or explain anything.
  11. Our needs matter.
  12. We are capable of taking care of ourselves.
  13. We need to want what is best for us without running others over.
  14. Do onto others as you would want done onto you.
  15. Feelings are not facts.

Are you an 🍊 Angry Orange or a 🥒 Cool Cucumber today?

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